human sponge

three weeks. a-bay is finally over. i don't know if i should be glad or worried.
mornings always make me realize that this job that i have is nothing but a child's play to me. i really don't think of it as a job..i even regard my officemates as 'classmates' and i don't know why.
maybe because the job is unusual--or maybe because i don't like this job.
it's no wonder why thousand (yes, thousands) of agents bade goodbye to our company after trying their luck for a month or two. good if they last for a year..but most of the time, a week is basis enough for them to resign.
what's with our job?
first, it exhausts every strength you have..it sucks you dry, they say. but maybe it's just because of the culture that we have; a culture so distinct that the moment a non-familiar thing arrives it blindfolds you. maybe it's just that we are so used of taking our jobs easily that even if we're eating or sleeping or what have you way past our schedule, we really don't care. but the job that i have, we have, spells schedule as d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e. a one hour break is a one hour break, go over than that and you're done.
second, it snatches away moments that were supposed to be meaningful had you spent it with your family or someone else. it produces coldness in you--until you forget that you still have a family--or a loved one. it makes you familiar with the feeling of being alone until you care no more.
third, you become a sponge. you hear to think and not to listen. your life is spent encoding and decoding as if it is supposed to be technical all the time. a full eight hours of your day is spent staring at such unmeaningful scene until you forget to think and be robotic in a sense. and for that, you get paid. a salary that will 'compensate' your dehumanization...
so why am i still here? to apply hermeneutics?
i really wish my time spent in this company wont steal my reason. yes, it polishes your linguistic capacity, but that's the end to it all. you get ill--and the illness is more than physical.
welcome to the world of machines, human sponge!