my break up letter hehehe

i believe this would be my last letter to you. i cannot wait around anymore and i know it's futile to still go on. you have slowly faded away and there's no use to ask you to stay and give this ill-fated relationship one more shot.
i knew from the start ours is going to be a complicated affair. but amidst the conflict, i decided to give it a fight for what it's worth. i know there have been many disappointments but i believe the rough roads we've been through were enough for us to test ourselves. i can afford to still stick with you but i cannot wager on a battle on my own. this can't be a one sided love affair.
i have given my best. it may not be enough for you but it was my best shot. maybe you also did try to keep our relationship working but frustrations and failures must have held you back. and of course your ambitions too.
i really wish you so much happiness and success. i may not be there to share them with you but i'll keep praying for an abundance of blessings to come your way. i'll just be here as your friend; and for anything, as long as i can do it, i'll be just here.
i will not talk about the pain of letting you go. it isn't painful, actually. it's liberating. when you taste real freedom from a conflict-filled relationship, you'll know what i mean. i feel happy right now because i can finally tell you that i am free. and i know you'll be happy of this freedom, too. i apologize that i didn't take the chance to tell you this personally. after almost three years of being together, i just can't afford to do this face to face.
thank you so much for the time, the love, and the faith you gave to me. i will never forget the happiness that we once shared. hope you'll wish me luck to all my endeavors, too.
happy birthday, Hunny Ko!

.....

actually, d man sa pagmahay..pero i think i lived my life too fast..
murag naa'y naglakag sa ako..
well, i'm really like this. i don't have that much patience...i get bored easily. d ko gusto maghulat..even with small stuff, i want to be done in a snap.
daghan ko giagpas. daghan ko gimadali.
mao pud cguro, if pwede, daghan ko gusto usbon.
pero of course, bisan mahurot cguro nako tanan nobena sa earth, nothing's gonna bring back the past.
gakaibog ko sa mga tao nga wala nag-agpas. people who are patient and determined. people who do not mind waiting...
unta gihinay-hinay nako.
but well..nahuman nah
no use na para maghilak
pero ginakumot akong dughan
i know the only way para mabag-o is kung mismo ako mubag-o sa ako self
pero ako na cguro ang babae nga dili gyud kaya ang lisud.
bisan gamay lang nga sakripisyo magbaguud na daun ko
life has blessed me with a lot of opportunities pero gipasagdan nako tanan.
wala na ko right magmahay karon
and definitely, life had been good to me
kanga2x lang jud ko
wa na ko kabalo aha ko dapit karon
i'll just go with the flow
tanan sa ako karon hanging..

if you ever change your mind

sure i understand
of course i'll be fine
you had a change of plans
oh well, i'll just change mine

but if it turns out bad
and if your nights get long
and if she makes you sad
no need to be strong

and if you ever change your mind
and find you miss those feelings that you left behind
we could give it one more try
some magic place in time
if you ever change your mind

i guess i better go
you know i hate goodbyes
let's not drag this out babe
i'll see 'round some time

and if you ever change your mind
and find you miss those feelings that you left behind
we could give it one more try
some magic place in time
if you ever change your mind

Go don't look back
let the heartaches pass

and if you ever change your mind
and find you miss those feelings that you left behind
we could give it one more try
some magic place some time
if you ever change your mind

i saw it coming...

..and it has come.

although painful, truth is there for acceptance. like any other lesson to be learned.

but this too, shall pass.

"i don't hate my job. this is my first job, and i should be thankful that for a newbie like me, i'm getting double the mininum salary. i'm happy, yes. but this will never be my first and last job. my heart is not here, it's wandering somewhere else. and i know, i'll find it soon. and when that time comes, i'll stay where it is."

---i've been lost for 4 years now...will i ever find where my heart is? or will my heart be forever restless?----

blank wall

why do i have this feeling that i always am facing a blank wall?

that no matter what i do, there's nothing at the end of the tunnel?

that i am always walking and at times running a never ending trail?

does life really has any direction for me? or do i have any direction at all?

why am i always at the losing end?

why all these questions?

where are all the answers?

why, after the glorious college life, i still have nothing?

what has happened to me after 2004 ended?

when love is gone

an ending for every beginning and a beginning for every ending...

i hate how it works..and at times think about the possibility of ending..

but even death is not a definite end.

i really just want to stop for a while...make that a long long while.

be alone and think of nothing.

...but society always trails behind me...

someone.something.always there.

clueless

$iii++,

1 $+l l@^3 u $0 wu)#...if i failed you, i'm sorry.

if i was a disappointment, i never intended to cause you any harm.

back at one: part two

will miss:

1. annual kick offs (the grandeur..the fun!..the fab gowns (blah..)..the movie stars!..all the freebies..the food!!)

2. the free trips..though work related..still free.

3. the pride.

4. the money!

5. the Xmas gift certificates which could take care of the Noche Buena and Media Noche

6. the paid VLs and SLs..that i can take anytime

7. office in rockwell.

8. Staff Shop and the discount..and yeah the canteen too..

9. all the benefits. (like you can charge anything as long as it is work-related..)

10. THE BRAND NEW CAR EVERY FIVE YEARS.

....yes, i will miss my car...zda157! i love you, baby..but i have to let go..buh-bye!

come Monday next week..it's gonna be this:



and this:



but it's all gonna be worth it!

i'll be fine...

on the floor!....the homecoming!

america, europe, and asia! ur favorite agent will soon make a grand comeback!!!

Leave on

New realizations:

1. i'm as OC as my mom...i realized i can't stand the sight of a dirty (read: naabugan lang gyud gamay) kitchen sink and a sloppy (read: bag-o lang gyud giligu-an) bathroom..for the first time in my life i actually bought muriatic acid for the kitchen sink and bathroom tiles...i can't leave the house (i'm renting) without all the chores done! geez..and i wake up each day thinking of the unswept floor first!

2. If my boss' text message is as long as the SF bridge, it is for the team--and, yes, even with text msgs he knows how to organize stuff starting it off with 1)...2)..if it is as short as an unfinished government project during pre-elections, it is just adrsd to me..(bbrrr)

3. you can't force yourself to everybody.

4. a true friend may not always be there for you.

5. the person u think will understand u forever will soon get tired of u.

6. Blessings don't pour like rain; they come individually.

7. A couple grows individually

8. every person has a second skin.

9. if it is to be, it's up to me.

10. life is fair. really. we just don't accept easily.

11. Your mother will never forsake you.

12. i have grown..yet i still have to be...

who are you

and so it goes...the phenomena of self-discovery..patiently waiting for each truth to unfold..always painfully..never without tears..
home, indeed, is the sweetest place on earth...a place where i can hide..i am safe..i can heal from wounds i constantly afflict myself with with every battle i have to wage--and surrender.
i realized, after 2 years, i have never really won any battle..the ground i have entered is still fresh..no bloodshed..my wounds won't scar because they won't heal..the pain will always be there..i surrender from the turmoil of unaffection and ignorance..and i know victory is still a strange word..
the journey i long wanted to quit must go on..and amidst the prevalence of insecurities forever castigating my motivation to step forward and let loose, i followed the path still unknown to me..i have long wanted to turn my back and live in a world of pure theories..a world where pain and suffering are non-existent..where experience can never be realized..
soon i will come out with my own book..and this book will realize a girl, with so much arrogance, vow her head in defeat..and admit that after every arrogant claim, the truth is never with her. a girl who's only solace is a mother who never failed to give her the much needed hope. the much needed support. and an unconditional love even she cannot give in return...
and this book will be called I AM.

wala mabuhat part 2

1) Are you a chick or a dude?
CHIX to d highest level hehehe

2) Do you pray?
oo naman!

3) Are you in love?
very.

4) Ever wish on stars?
heheheh..guilty.

5) Do you believe in karma?
YEAH

6) What's your zodiac sign?
Gemini

7) Have you ever almost died?
yeah. car accident unta.hadlok!

8) Ever broken any bones?
god 4bid.

9) Do you cry during sad movies?
oo.

11) Ever laid under the stars?
oo.

12) Ever sat on a rooftop?
oo wyl dreaming with eyes wide open.

13) music/dance?
music.

14) Could you live without the television?
YES. I AM living without a TV.

15) Could you live without music?
DILI.

16) If you're in love then how many letters does
your lover have in their name?
13

17) What do you dislike the most about life?
iyang pagka-iya.

18) Have you ever been to jail?
nag-interview kunohay ug preso.

19) Ever had a job for less than a day?
la pud.

20) Ever been fired on your first day?
la pud.

21) Ever been fired because of your attitude?
la pa pud. heheheh

22) Do you get jealous of other people?
sumtyms. ako na lang i-think na mas gwapa ko hehehe

23) Would you rather love someone or be loved?
nah..gus2 ko inlab mi duha..pero mas okay cguro ang be loved

24) What's under your bed right now?
empty space.

25) Ever done anything illegal?
hmmmm

26) Have you ever been dumped?
ha..

27) Ever dumped somebody?
subtle ra man to

28) How cool are you?
di man ko cool...HOT man ko..nyak!!

29) Do you support abortion?
murag katong debate namo sa una. heheh

30) Who's your best friend?
ako honey.

31) Did you graduate high school?
oo.

33) Have you ever drove someone crazy?
hehhehe..malay..

34) Ever bullied someone?
good girl man ko..

35) Ever done the Macarena?
OO!!! feel na feel!

36) Do you act your age?
i suppose.

37) Is it okay to disrespect your parents?
NO.NEVER.

38) Do you flush the toilet when you're done?
xempre!

39) How long do you stay in the shower?
depende.

40) What kind of soap do you use?
scented nga mild...

2) Spiderman, Batman, or Superman?
spiderman.

43) Do you like your middle name?
yup...

44) Has anyone ever cheated on you?
yes.

46) What's your favorite animal?
dog.

47) favorite flower
rose.

48) Have you ever shaved your head?
no plans.

49) What do you think of LOVE?
it's a gift.

50) Do you think it is okay to drink and drive?
DILI NOH!

51) If you won $1 million, what would you buy first?
wow..ma-mental blck cguro ko..

52) Do you fear terrorism?
sumtyms.

54) What's your favorite candle scent?
lavender ug coffee

55) Do you use profanity?
shit! dili oi!

57) What's something you're ashamed of?
secret

58) What woke you up last night?
himbing ng 2log ko kagabi

59) Ever been to a zoo
yeah..
60) What's the last movie watched?
pirates of the caribbean pa intawon pero part 2 na..

61) Are you usually late or on time?
on time

62) What anime you watch often?
dili ko ganahan anime man gyud..

wala mabuhat

1.) Do you talk in your sleep?
- i dunno...

2.) Oceans or Pools?
- oceans. nothing beats the original.

3.) What's your favorite song at the moment?
- hindi kita iiwan heheheh by rey valera..

4.) Current Crush?
- ako uyab heheheh

5.) What's your favorite color(s)?
- pink,.

6.) Window seat or aisle seat?
- depende sa mood.

7.) Ever met anyone famous?
- si...vilma santos endorser sa Bear Brand heheh

8.) Do you feel that you've had a truly successful
life?
- nope. kulang pa.

9.) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
- cut.

10.) Rikki Lake or Oprah winfrey
- oprah.

11.) Are you looking forward to anything?
- suko ako mama if i blurt it out hehehehe

12.) How long do your showers last?
- depende...kung work days 10 minutes ra man yata. pero after work dugay na dayon. kay ganahan man ko matulog nga fresh na fresh ehehhehe

13.) Do you know how to drive a stick?
- stick?

14). Where do you wish you were?
- sa ako new haws with my honey..char!

15.) Can you tango?
- don't dance

16.) Last gift you received?
- the best gift i got so far..hehehe secret

17.) Last sport you played?
- badminton..heheh

18.) Things you spend a lot of money on?
- clothes.underwears.shoes.appliances (hehe)

19) Last wedding attended?
- Lorah's. my client's daughter.

20) Favorite month?
- basta duol na xmas.

21) Most hated food(s)?
- i'm learning to love veggies na.

22) Can you sing?
- OO pud bah! depende na lang dayon sa ganahan

23) Last person you called?
- ako honey

24) What's your fav. chores?
- limpyo balay nako ug car wash dayon hehe

25). Favorite Drink?
- water..lisud kau ang kinabuhi kung wala coke

26) Are you a vegetarian?
- nyak! karon pa gani ko ga-learn ug appreciate veggies

27) Do you believe in Heaven?
- i believe in eternal happiness.

28) Do you miss someone?
- yes

29) Have you ever come close to dying?
- yep...

30) What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
- earrings

31) Are you eating?
- finish na

32) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
- kung mapugos ko

33) Can you dance?
- di lagi..

34) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
- kung na ko money y not!?

35) What do you wear to bed?
- usahay wala heheh

36) Have you ever done anything illegal?
- hmmm...

37) What's the last thing you threw at someone?
- blanket. pillow man unta to wala man.

38) What kind of sneakers?
- 'what kind of sneakers' what?

39) What is your hair color?
- brown2x heheh

40) Future child's name?
- son: Rashid Alfonso
- daughter: Maria Rsheranncca..
depende na dayon sa daddy kung musugot..kung dili, di mag-lasong na lang ko hehehe

41) Do you snore?
- kung kapoy...

42) If you could go anywhere in the world where
would you be?
- basta gus2 ko european tour

43) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
- sa una 2ng pa-tweetums pa ko..

44) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
- check the validity.

45) Gold or silver?
- gold.

46) Hamburger or hot dog?
- hamburger

47) If you could only eat one food for the rest of
your life, what?
- spaghetti!!!

48) What was the last thing you touched?
- keyboard

49) Where did you eat last?
- mcDo

50) When's the last time you cried?
- wednesday morning. si kim man gyud gapang-surang2x

51) Do you read blogs?
- ako blog..hehehe luv ur own!

living life and loving it...

i miss school

i miss school..law school most specially..i dunno...haayy

happy..at last!

people have noticed the changes in me...

-the better disposition
-the calm demeanor
-the smile that doesn't seem to leave my face
-the sweetness in my tone of voice
-the glow
-the twinkle in my eyes

all these and more...plus i feel sexier now more than ever!--and it definitely has nothing to do with the extra pounds i lost..
i guess this is what happiness is all about..finally!

he changed my life in a moment

omigod! im ssooo hhappy!! and it's starting to scare me to hell..oh, well!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Changed My Life In A Moment

The nights the sky was filled with clouds
My worried mind was filled with fear
I couldn't count all the lonely hours
Spent with memories and tears

I never thought I would see the day
When I could throw all my sorrow away
But then you came and you showed me the way
You have made all those times disappear

CHORUS:
You changed my life in a moment
And I'll never be the same again
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With the touch of your hand in a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone (is gone...is gone...is gone...)

I never thought that I could change
Could change so much in so many ways
I'm still surprised when I look in my mirror
To see that I still look the same

CHORUS:
You changed my life in a moment
And I'll never be the same again
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With the touch of your hand in a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone

(You changed my life in a moment)
You changed my life
(And I'll never be the same again)
I'll never be the same
You changed my life in a moment
And it's hard for me to understand
With the touch of your hand in a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone

(You changed my life in a moment)
Gone...gone..
In a moment in time
All my sorrow is gone...
.

NOT THAT BORED ANYMORE

another one from nikki's site..

1. Sent you a text message:
-- my hon hehehe
2. Saw you cry:
-- juliet
3. Went to the movies with you?
-- hon also hehehhe
4. You went to the mall with?
-- hon still
5. You went to dinner with?
-- hon still....
7. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it?
-- wala pa...hopefully..
8. Broke your heart?
-- hmm...no sad moments pls..
9. Made you laugh?
-- hon..yikes!!!
10.Talked on the phone?
-- juliet

W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
-- pls
2. Be serious or be funny?
-- switch..
3. Drink whole or skim milk?
-- whey hydrolysates...charing!
4. Die in a fire or drown?
-- die simply
5. Spend time with your parents or worst
enemies?
--parents

D O Y O U P R E F E R. .
1. Gray or black?
-- black
2. Color or Black and white photos?
-- B/W
3. Lust or love?
-- uhmmm...hehehe..LOVE of course
4. Sunrise or sunset?
-- sunset
5. M&Ms or Skittles?
-- M&Ms
6.Staying up late or waking up early?
--staying up

A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y !!
1.Do you like anyone?
-- yup! very much
2. Does he/she know it?
-- yes!

D O Y O U P R E F E R. .
1. Sun or moon?
-- moon
2. Winter or Fall?
-- winter
3. Left or right?
-- right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best
friends?
--two best friends
5. Sunny or rainy?
-- rainy
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
-- vanilla ice cream

A B O U T Y O U
1. What time is it?
-- 12:41 am
2. Name?
-- Jo-ann Sherly
3. Nickname(s):
-- js
4. What is your birth date?
-- may 25,1984
5. What do you want? coke or pepsi?
-- coke
6. Where do you want to live?
-- philippines
7. How many kids do you want?
-- 2-3
8. You want to get married?
-- in due time

U N I Q U E !

1. Can you roll your tongue?
-- nope
2 . Can you raise one eyebrow?
-- yup
3. Can you cross your eyes?
-- nope

R A N D O M
1. Which shoe goes on first?
-- right
2. Ever thrown one at someone?
-- yep! i was still a kid then..
OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti?
-- yes
2.Have you ever eaten spam?
-- yes
3. Favourite ice cream:
-- pistacchio
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your
cabinet?
-- none.


I N T H E L A S T M O N T H , HA V E Y O U ?
1. had a b/f or g/f
-- nope
2. Bought something:
-- a cutie blouse
3. Sang:
-- haha..yep!
4. Been kissed:
-- nope
5. Been hugged:
-- yup
6. Felt stupid:
-- yYYeEEEsSSS
7. Missed someone:
-- yes
8. Danced crazy:
-- never got drunk...
9. Gotten your hair cut:
-- nope
10. Cried:
-- yes

BORED AS BORED CAN BE

visited Nikki's site earlier..niks, pa-brw!

1. Do u think you're ok?
--more than that. i am happy.
2. Ever donated blood?
-- Nope.
3. Fav color(s)?
-- Pink..blue..green..(ggrreennn???)
4. Accessories you usually wear?
-- Earrings
5. Last place you went to?
-- boarding haws..
6. Last person/s u went out with?
-- hehehhe...him and a common friend
7. Last person who called you?
-- ferlie.
8. Ever had a baby?
-- in 5 yrs, maybe.
9. Last Movie you watch and with whom?
-- hahahah! SuKoB! 2x. 1st with my friend, 2nd with my sis.
10. Any piercings?
-- ears.
11. Act on stage before?
-- hi-skul..and never again!..until i got into the beautiful world of Nestle Pilipinas
12. Struck by lightning before?
-- di sad unta oi.
13. Ever wished you could turn back time? To when?
-- April 2006.
14. What would you do if you woke up one day to find yourself to be with someone from
the opposite sex?
-- he gotta look good..or else..hhaha
15. Last person you met for the first time?
-- the cafe attendant
16. What will you be doing tomorrow?
-- Work.
17. Ever thought of robbing a bank?
-- YEAH! but don't have the guts! and the nerve!
18. Do people like you?
-- hmmm...i think so.
19. What was the last game you played on the computer?
--hangAroo
20. The color of your mobile phone?
-- black.
21. Do you hate someone at the moment?
--Nope. Life is Beautiful.
21. Are you in a serious relationship right now?
-- we're heading towards that direction, i guess.
22. What is on your mouse pad?
--nadda
23. What's your favorite fruit?
-- Green MANGO
24. Do you wish to be a pilot someday?
-- a flight stewardess. but my height...
25. What is the color of your pants right now?
-- acid-washed.
26. Do you have a lot of admirers?
-- i guess..hahhaa! confident!
27. Is your hair long or short?
-- curly, shoulder lenght
28. Do you like going to the supermarket with yourparents?
-- YEAH! one of my favorite bonding moments..
29. How long does it take for you to fix your hair?
-- 10-20 minutes

30. Where did you go last night?
-- i had dinner with him.

31. What you had for breakfast this morning?
-- don't eat bfast

32. What did you have for dinner last night?
-- Bicol Express & Menudo

33. Do you sleep alone?
-- Yep!

34. Who is beside you now?
-- a stranger

35. What is the last thing you touched before you went on the computer?
-- my phone

36. Ever had a dream come true?
-- i guess 1 is coming true anytime soon

37. What's the worst thing you've done all week?
-- sleep when i could have done something more productive.