meet my fiance`..

come late feb or early march, we're getting married!!!! heheh, pathetic!

by the way, his name is MB1. hehehe don't ask na why..

i'm so excited..rockNroll!!!! who wants 2 join the joyride?????

GOAL

lose 15 lbs!

gosh, i feel so bloated! my pants still fit but i feeell so ffaaaatttt!!!

...and i hate it when people take notice..adding insult to injury..

but really, i wanna feel sexy..i don't know what's happening..my eating habits r the same so how come i'm piling up excess body weight?

a star fit for a star

i don't have any right...
up there..i look up to..
no..no..cannot be..
a commoner, i am..

my philosophical years

saw this from my files in college.. i just dunno if i could still think and write this way again..i feel like a baby out of her mother's womb (hehe, how does it feel bah?)

----------------------------------------------

A REINVESTIGATION ON THE PRESENCE OF HERMENEUTICS IN THE FIELDS OF BIBLICAL INTERPRETATION, LITERARY CRITICISM, FOREIGN RELATIONS, LAW & LEGAL PRACTICES, AND MEDICINE. (working title pa lang yan! how arrogant!!hehe)

globalization has been the constant issue of the present generation incorporated with the advanced methods of thinking and doing things out. the field of philosophy is somehow taken as a sort of criticism to this advancement, thus, a negative reaction to the progress of the modern world. People from the realms of medicine and law, or of any field incorporated with scientific knowledge, seem to disregard the presence of philosophical reflection or interpretation--hermeneutics in modern use--in their daily maneuvers to conquer the many hidden facts in the universe using the precision of science.
This study therefore aims to qualify these perceptions. hermeneutics, defined above as a philosophical reflection or interpretation, is everywhere. it is not just in philosophy alone that hermeneutics exists: everything is hermeneutics.a single interpretation of an atom is hermeneutics; a single question to that interpretation is hermeneutics too. Man, no matter how far he has achieved, cannot deny the fact that in everything he sees, feels, hears, smells, or simply senses, comes a consensus of what it is, how it is, and why it is. this is hermeneutics.
there is a strict compliance of a single meaning in the field of law, the precision and objectivity of science is a blank wall that prevents any other interpretation to exude; foreign relationships is taken simply as reaching-out to other nations for the benefit of all; any different interpretation of the bible can cause an outbreak of a paranoia of destroying a stable faith; literature carries a thousand voices and a thousand meanings, but even before one starts saying his piece, a preceding understanding already prohibits him from doing so.how then does hermeneutics sip in?
news of scientists criticizing science, or religious men criticizing their own religions or religiousity, is not new anymore.they've been heard, and they have changed other's perceptions. the single task of hermeneutics is to know what is questionable. a widely accepted tradition, for example, can still be questioned as long as the question is valid. this is the predicament of hermeneutics, especially that many take questioning as destroying.even in literature, fictional books are sometimes taken as real. when the muslim author Rushdie's book, Demonic Verses, was published a huge Muslim population reacted so violently procuring a manhunt to capture the author dead or alive. what happened? in rushdie's book, Mohammed, the islam prophet, was told to have taken the words of satan and not of allah when he created the islamic religion. this infuriated the muslim population that rushdie had to seek protection from the bristish government to which he is a citizen of.
thus is the purpose of this study: show the presence of hermeneutics even in the strictest area of concentration. and even in this technologically advanced world..
-----------------------

haha! i tot im having a hungover after reading this..this must be the feeling of a drowning fish..hehe..i must really be deteriorating..i know this isn't much..someone else out there could write a better observation and have a better understanding..my point lang is it's me. the changes. the conflict. it's just me. silly, isn't it?

pilya, my friend! she's getting married na pala and she didn't even tell me about it..well, im happy for her..here's one for u on ur wedding day (civil muna,,)..a song that both of u could sing to each other hehe..

your love
alamid

you're the one that never lets me sleep
to my mind, down to my soul you touch my lips
you're the one that i can't wait to see
with you here by my side i'm in ecstasy


i am all alone without you
my days are dark without a glimpse of you
but now that you came into my life
i feel complete
the flowers bloom, my morning shines
and i can see


your love is like the sun
that lights up my whole world
i feel the warmth inside
your love is like the river
that flows down through my veins
i feel the chill inside


every time i hear our music play
reminds me of the things that we've been through
in my mind i can't believe it's true
but in my heart the reality is you

10 things...

10. Spend wisely (be 'kuripot' if possible..)
09. never ever ever again be smitten by brands!!! (doesn't matter unless it's
nestle product..)
08. think think think (flush that spur of the moment, expulsive decision, out!)
07. cut the chase! (i am not darna!!!)
06. smile..smile...smile..if u've got nothing to say, smile..
05. believe in the true meaning of karmic cycle
04. always always look back from where u came from
03. watch what u eat..one word:diet
02. know that i am beautiful..:)
01. love.love.love.

DON'T SPEAK!

illusion: i told ya! ex lagi nako na!! tambok lang ko diha ug gwapo lang siya tan-awon hehe..
the story: jaegger and i were dining at cafe laguna when the 'crowd suddenly went wild..' hehe..actually, we were so engrossed with our 'catching up' when those guys occupying the table near us started taking pictures of 'something' with their phones and one was even holding a digicam..and then we realized, it wasn't a something..a SOMEONE actually..mark bautista, a taal cagay-anon, is in the house!! remember, i even shamelessly posted his pic here and tried to convince everyone that he's my ex (heck, can't even convince myself..)..so, in a spur of the moment decision, i handed jaegger my phone and asked him to take my pic with mark..imagine, jaegger's face..heheh..i knew he tried to say 'baduy mo, js!' and i was the ever-stubborn girl whom, i believe, has been contaminated with the 'jologs virus' endemic in my 'baranggay health workers' filled job..mark was really nice..he was in a hurry (guess, catching up a flight back to manila or was on his way to their house to get some sleep..) but gave in to my silly whim and flashed that sweet smile of his which, fortunately, my cam-phone captured!
perfect! hapi new year everyone!

i want you

i want you
to be the best that you can be..
i want you
to hear the biggest applause ever!
and i want that applause to be for you
i want you
to feel how it is to receive a standing ovation
to win the crowd's heart
to cherish their cheers and praises
i want you
to be the center of attention
to achieve you greatest dreams
to vow and never surrender
i want you
to be the victor of every game
to have everyone else looking at you
basking in your glory
i want you
to sing while everybody listens
dance while everyone's watching
look into their eyes and say "i'm here!"
i want you
to be the envy of everybody
to rise above your crowd
to live..to love..to be..
and i will just be here..
watching your every move...
witnessing the glory that is you.

sayang..

sus..y man nakigbulag pa ko nimo nga musikat man diay ka??? kung alam ko lang..shucks..dah! heheh..(la lang jud mahimo bah..)

love is a contradiction

proving it the APO way...


HUWAG NA HUWAG MASANAY SA PAGMAMAHAL

HUWAG NA HUWAG MASANAY SA PAGMAMAHAL
KAPAG NASANAY KA, NAKU KAWAWA KA
HINDI LANG BASTA-BASTA ANG PAGMAMAHAL
KAPAG UMIBIG KA TILA MAY ABALA
IBANG-IBA ANG BUHAY MO KAPAG NAG-IISA
WALANG INAASIKASONG PROBLEMA NG IBA
KAYA KUNG NAG-AALINLANGAN MAGMAHAL
ANG PAYO KO SA ‘YO AY HUWAG NA LANG

(Kuh)
BAKIT PARANG UMAANGAL KA NGAYON
NGAYON AT NASA IYO NA ANG PAG-IBIG KO
HINDI BA KELAN LAMANG NUNG SINABI MO
WALANG IBANG GUSTO PARA SA BUHAY MO
GANYAN BA TALAGA ANG KWENTO NG PAGMAMAHAL
PARANG ‘SANG GAYUMA NA HINDI NAGTATAGAL
KAYA KUNG NAG-AALINLANGANG MAGMAHAL
ANG PAYO KO SA ‘YO AY HUWAG NA LANG

(APO & Kuh)
REFRAIN:
BAKIT AYAW NG NAG-IISA
KAILANGAN PANG MERONG KASAMA
KASAMA NA NAGDADALA LAMANG NG SAKIT NG ULO
(Kuh)
HUWAG MONG PASUKAN KUNG HINDI MO KAYA
ANG BUHAY NG MAYROONG KASAMA
MABUTI PANG MAIWAN NA NAG-IISA
WALA PANG ABALA

LALALALALALA

(APO & Kuh)
IBANG-IBA ANG BUHAY KAPAG NAG-IISA
WALANG INAASIKASONG PROBLEMA NG IBA
KAYA KUNG NAG-AALINLANGANG MAGMAHAL
ANG PAYO KO SA ‘YO AY HUWAG NA LANG
ANG PAYO KO SA ‘YO AY HUWAG NA LANG


paano
apo hiking society

paano mo malalaman
itong pag-ibig ko sa ‘yo
paano mo mararamdaman
ang tibok ng puso ko
kung lagi kang kinakabahan
na ika’y masasaktan
pangako ko, ang puso mo’y
hindi pakakawalan

paano mo maiintindihan
na ako’y nananabik
o, kelan ko kaya madarama
ang tamis ng iyong halik
kung lagi mong inaatrasan
ang sugod ng nagmamahal
sana nama’y pagbigyan mo’ng
hiling ng puso ko

subukan mong magmahal
o giliw ko
kakaibang ligayang matatamo
ang magmahal ng iba’y
di ko gagawin
pagka’t ikaw lang
tanging sasambahin
huwag ka nang mangagamba
pag-ibig ko’y ikaw
wala nang iba

Tuyo Na'ng Damdamin

MINSAN KAHIT NA PILITIN MONG UMINIT ANG DAMDAMIN
DI SIYA SUSUNOD, AT DI MAGLALAMBING
MINSAN DI MO NA MAPIGIL MAPANSIN
NA TALAGANG WALA NANG NAIIWAN NA PAGMAMAHAL

REFRAIN:
AT KAHIT NA ANONG GAWIN
DI MO NA MAPILIT AT MADAYA
AMININ SA SARILI MO
NA WALA KA NG MABUBUGA

PARANG ‘SANG KANDILA NA NAGDADALA
NG ILAW AT LIWANAG
NAUUBOS RIN SA MAGDAMAG

(INSTRUMENTAL)

DI NA MADAIG O MABALIK ANG DATING MATAMIS NA KAHAPON
PILITIN MA’Y TUYO NA’NG DAMDAMIN

Panalangin

I.
PANALANGIN KO SA HABANG BUHAY
MAKAPILING KA, MAKASAMA KA
YAN ANG PANALANGIN KO-OH
AT HINDI PAPAYAG, ANG PUSONG ITO
MAWALA KA, SA ‘KING PILING
MAHAL KO IYONG DINGGIN

II.
WALA NG IBA PANG MAS MAHALAGA
SA TAMIS NA DULOT NG PAG-IBIG
NATING DAL’WA…
AT SANA NAMAN MAKIKINIG KA
KAPAG AKING SASABIHIN
MINAMAHAL KITA…AAAH

(REPEAT I & II 2X)

III.
PANALANGIN KO SA HABANG BUHAY
MAKAPILING KA, MAKASAMA KA
YAN ANG PANALANGIN KO-OH
AT HINDI PAPAYAG, ANG PUSONG ITO
MAWALA KA, SA ‘KING PILING
MAHAL KO, IYONG DINGGIN

..ewan ko, hindi ko alam..pwede bang wag na lang nating pag-usapan? ay, eraser heads na diay ni..hehe...

i hate it

but i'm starting to miss how life was when i was stil a call center agent..MABUANG NA KO SA PRESSURE SA AKONG TRABAHO!!!

we don't really see what we seem to see

click on the picture

If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot,
you will only see one color, pink.

However, if you stare at the black "+" in the center,
the moving dot turns to green.

Now, concentrate on the black "+" in the center of the picture.
After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear,
and you will only see a green dot rotating.

It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot,
and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof
enough, we don't always see what we think we see.

sorry...caught the virus too..

HE IS SOO CUTE! look, i'm sorry, okay..i'm no fan but who can resist that boyish charm trapped in him...? and man, does he deliver!! perfect, sam, perfect!

(oh, cmon! don't i have the right to revive my teenage years..?)

work with

i'm glad she's 'better' now..as if she's just recovered from a very fatal illness..whew!
yeah, i think i like her already..knowing that we share a lot of things in common..
name 1: authority. she worked hard to gain it..she's inspiring me to gain it too..yeah, she's suddenly 'new' to me//
i respect her more now. i mean, i respect her now.

i look at her and i see love. i listen to her and i hear love. i touch her and i feel love...labs u, ma!

You’re my piece of mind, in this crazy world
You’re every thing I've tried to find
Your love is a pearl
You’re my Mona Lisa
You’re my rainbow skies
And my only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

The world will turn
And the seasons will change
And all the lessons we will learn
Will be beautiful and strange
We'll have our fell of tears
Our share of sight
My only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes
And the passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

And there are lines upon my face
From a life time of smiles
When the time comes to embrace
For one long last wine
We can laugh about how time really flies
We won’t say goodbye
‘Cause true love never dies
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes...

You will always be beautiful in my eyes
And The passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes

The passing years will show
That you will always grow
Ever more beautiful in my eyes...

a letter...

hey..what's up?
haven't called or e/mailed in a while..
been trying to reach out but you seemed detached...always not there..
how have u been doing..
never thought wud miss u..
but wud u care for another silly conversation?..or a dumber than dumbest reflections about what and how life shud be..?
ever missed those times when all we do is whine..?
have u ever felt insecure?
i am now..
have u finally left me, friend?

this, is rare

yes, i miss the life i had in PS. not the work, the life..i miss going home not loaded with any work-related problem..i miss not doing any report (the only 'report' done then was call-docu..) i miss waking up at fixed hours and drag myself out of bed because it's time to hit the restroom...i miss wearing a jacket (silly..) i miss putting a headset on (t'was a cool thing..) and MOST OF ALL: I MISS MY ENGLISH!!!!!
God, please send me an american doctor whom i can discuss with using the english language!
and yes,
I MISS THE ABSENCE OF 'ESTABLISHING RAPPORT AND BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS!!!'
why?
because in PS, i can shout at my customer and forget about him because the chances of another encounter is as thin as me marrying brad pitt...
because in PS, i can be extra nice only once to a customer who will forget my name anyway..
because in PS, i don't have to see the customer eye to eye so while my voice is sooo dear, he doesn't know that i'm wrekcing havoc with my bare hands...
because in PS, i don't need to give my real name, so the hell with a customer's lawsuit against Nadia the e-rep! (yeah, i know he can locate me..but my company will take good care of it..)
I MISS THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT
because in PS, there is such a thing as a night diff..
because in PS, there is such a thing as an overtime pay
because working during holidays means money
I MISS MY ENGLISH
again...
I MISS MY SUPERVISOR
I MISS THE CASUAL LIFE
like addressing ur boss by his first name..no such thing as ma'am or sir..i love it! it makes me feel at ease
like not wearing any uniform at all as long as u look descent enough
I MISS CEBU
I MISS MY FRIENDS THERE

but i don't miss my job..just the way life was..

I DON'T MISS WAKING UP AND GOING TO WORK KNOWING i MYT ENCOUNTER ANOTHER AMERICAN WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO READ
"mr. smith, we have rules and regulations to abide by.."
"what rules and regulations?? i wasn't told!!"
"..asshole..."
"did u just call me an asshole? lemme talk to ur supervisor!"
"asshole? i called u an asshole? what i meant mr smith was FUCK YOU!"
I DON'T MISS PUTTING ON AN AVAIL MODE KNOWING ANYTIME A STUPID BITCH IS JUST WAITING ON QUEUE..
"Hi, there, barbara! how's ur day!"
"fine."
"great. so, how may i help u?"
"i want to cancel my flyt."
"lemme help u then. can i have ur itin #."
"i don't have it. can u locate it for me?"
"sure, that's not a problem. can i have ur e-mail addy so i can look up ur record here on my end?"
"don't have it either.."
..fyi: her tone of voice was so morose u'd think i'm the one who owes her a favor
"so, what do u have there? u have ur tel # associated with ur account with us?"
"bullshit! why can't u just locate my flyt using my name???"
...like she's the only one who has the name barbara whatever in the whole world...and yes, did i mention our flyts r international so our membership is worldwide?...
I DON'T MISS BEING PUT UNDER QA..
I DON'T MISS HAVING TO FILE FOR A PTO EVEN IF MY BRONCHITIS IS CAUSING ME TO INHALE WITH DIFFICULTY
I DON'T MISS THE EMOTIONAL TORMENT OF TALKING TO BOSSY AMERICANS..
I DON'T MISS WAITING IN VAIN FOR A PINOY CUSTOMER TO POP UP

..but hey, i heard they're giving out a 40K xmas bnus..wow..

mas malaki sa amin..sa mahal kong NESTLE pilipinas!

looking back...

i posted this in pro-lovecomm (yahoo group in college)nov 16, 2004...la lang, nahan lang ko i-post pud sa akong blog..hehe, ga-work pa ko ani sa PS..(changes: i'm just a 3-hr drive away from my hometown, my school is very POPULAR here, closer na jud ko sa ako family karon! wala'y pag bag-o: hehe d jud ilado ako course dah!, ug well, di jud cguro mi pwede! laki man kaha iya type!) read on..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you see, i'm starting to love myself more..
who could have thought that i could really achieve such feat!!
yes, it's an achievement..

i love my home town. you can leave me anywhere in the city and i sure
can find my way back home. i know which route to choose, which
vehicle to ride, which place to go. i can tell you a lot about my
place and there's still a lot more to tell after i pause to catch
some air. and while my hometown continues to flourish, the changes
that are happening to it just make it more and more strange. and i'm
afraid that when the time comes that i have to go home, my home no
longer is...

i love my school. it made me the person that i am today. i am so
proud of my school that you can't talk about your school without me
sharing something about my school that will definitely shut you up!
yes, my school is the best school for me. who cares if your from
harvard? i am from xavier. and now i'm here in a place which houses
schools i don't even know existed. and i'm missing the familiarity of
my school...

i love my course! my decision to take up philosophy is one of the
best decisions i've made so far. i can't help but tell everyone who
asks about my course how beautiful it is, and i don't care if you
frown in disbelief or sigh in awe..my course is the best course there
is. now, i'm sorrounded by people who don't even know that there is
such course--or who doesn't give a damn. and i can't brag about my
course anymore because all those people who would frown in disbelief
or sigh in awe are no longer there...and i'm starting to give a damn.

i'm in love with someone. for two years now i've been in love with
the same guy. we finished the same course and pursued law after
graduation. he is still in law school while i am starting to miss
reading those law cases (that really sucked before.) he is still
answering legal questions in law classes thrown by arrogant lawyer-
teachers while i'm starting to forget the feeling of being thrown a
stupid legal question and giving the same-level-of-stupidity answer.
and yes, i miss him.

i love my family. yes, i do. my family is the last air i'd like to
breath when the time comes that i must stop breathing. but things in
life just have to make me decide. i've made my decision and the fruit
of which is starting to face me; creating doubts and confusions.
i'm working in a place far from home--and home is where my family is.
to wrap it neatly, i left my family.
christmas is coming and all i could do is to hum that ol' christmas
song i used to hum years before without any feelings. that song talks
about spending christmas away from your family. now, that i'm gonna
spend christmas time alone, the song exudes with meaning i never
thought existed!

things have changed...i'm alone but not really. memories will never
leave me unless i stop remembering. but remembering only makes me
feel more alone. and the feeling of being alone makes me get stuck up
in one corner. and being stuck up in one corner will defeat my self-
esteem. and when my self-esteem is gone, then i'm gone too..

but i'm loving myself more! you see, i've conquered my fears. i've
left the comfort zone behind. i'm seeing things in a bigger
perspective. life is bigger--and i can now see that bigger picture of
life. and i'm happy.
i am ms. independence. i am free.

...LAW SCHOOL...

...i so envy them...
so, money doesn't matter, huh?
damn it! it does!!!!
but, well..i'm happy for you, guys! now ur approaching ur 3rd yr of affixing ur IDs with LLB..and me? not much to offer..i just happen to be a non-commuter now...i can really feel the 'gasoline problem'...i travel a lot now...i have my own money..i settle my own finances...i am almost ms. independent..heheh...
and yes, i'm going back to law school..am gonna be a lawyer..a successful lawyer...and ...i'm going to be happy!!! c u all in the courtroom..hehe..(but ei, our plan of putting up our own law firm still stand, does it?)
i miss u, et als!

I MISS CEBU

...that's all...