1stwEekOfdMontH

HOUSEMATE
He was simply a housemate. maybe he tried to reach out to me...maybe he wanted me to be a 'friend.' i don't know why i didn't even bother. believe me, i'm kindda friendly. i'm cool. well, we are in good terms..but not really that good. we talk, yes. a little hi and hello and that's it. not much conversation; not much to offer. it stayed that way.
we occupy the two bedrooms at the 2nd storey of a two-storey house. hence, we're housemates. we share the same rest room and we have the entire storey of the house for ourselves. he frequents the terrace while i junk myself in my room. among the two of us, he's closer to the owners of the house, while he mingles with them downstairs, i rot myself upstairs. and i don't know why. i already had plans then of boarding somewhere else. he is no menace. i always am the first one to use the rest room during mornings; he cleans the house while i spread dirt on it; he helps me in carrying my heavy stocks in and out of the house. he is also a gentleman...checking on me every now and then...
but with all his kindness, i didn't even stir. it stayed that way up to the day i packed my things and moved out.
monday morning, 1st day of October. i went back to my old 'house'to get my remaining things. no one was there. strange. that house is never 'alone'. i still have the keys with me so i was able to get inside. the house was messy. bedroom doors were left opened showing beds unkempt. the whole house--was sad. i went to my stock room (i rented two rooms, one in the 1st storey, and another upstairs.) i only got two boxes of my stocks and i decided to go. i don't know what's with the place. it's eerie. i didn't like the air. it felt so heavy. and as much as i wanna go upstairs, something within me keeps on saying no. and i was the ever obedient master.
and then it happened. monday afternoon, 1st day of October. i received a call about his accident--and his death!
images of him flashed even when i'm trying to get some sleep. and i finally realize why i didn't allow myself to get close to him...maybe this is the reason why. maybe.
i can't imagine how it would have been had i not transferred..we have adjacent rooms..i can still hear his voice..and it hit me: that heavy feeling i had that morning while i was inside the house we used to occupy. i shivered. i thought i'm having a fever. it was odd.
i was the first one to live in that house; his room was first offered to me but i declined; i was the first one to meet an accident (thank god, nothing happened) while we were still living in that house; and i was the first one to move out. i was the first. what if i was second and he was first? would i have been the one 13 feet below the ground right now?
but maybe it was really his time, if there is such a thing. all i know is death is as normal as life. we just play favorites.