if i believe

**i love songs that express
deep affirmation that love
is the answer to a man's every question.
sometimes it's really a relief to just
stop doubting and start believing**

If I believed in paradise
I'd swear I must be there
I'd swear I must be there right now with you
If I believed in miracles
I'd know that one was happening to me
But if I don't believe in paradise
Then miracles aren't real
Then someone tell me what is this I feel

I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I can't deny
if I believed in paradise
I'd swear I'm there

If I believed in magic spells
It all would be so clear
'Cause magic spells must have brought you here
If I could see the future
I'd see if you and I were meant to be
But I dont know any magic
And tomorrow's just a dream
But something in this fantasy is real

I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I cant deny
If I believed in paradise
I'd swear I'm there

I'm there
I'm there
If I believed.

whew!

well, guess i'm in..and the GRAND QUESTOR at that..heheh
taas ng hair ko grabeh..
imagine, among the 50+ hopefuls only 4 of us made it to the final panel interview and only ME immerged victorious! well, that's something..another leaf on my hat (or cap ba yun?) duh, whatever
pero seriously now, i'm worried. i don't know why. maybe because i'm the only visayan-speaking alien there..hell, need some polishing re my tagalog. 1 year out of college and it seems like i don't know how to speak the language fluently anymore..
paano ba? conotic ba dapat? pero i like to speak in straight english eh..heheh
sabi nga ni chona "warever"

lyrics

Who'd have thought this is how the pieces fit
You and I shouldn't even try making sense of it
I forgot how we ever came this far
I believe we had reasons but I don't know what they are
Don't blame it on my heart, oh

Love moves in mysterious ways
It's always so surprising
When love appears over the horizon
I'll love you for the rest of my days
But still it's a mystery
How you ever came to me
Which only proves
Love moves in mysterious ways

Heaven knows love is just a chance we take
We make plans but then love demands a leap of faith
So hold me close and never never let me go
'Cos even though we think we know which way the river flows
That's not the way love goes, no

(Repeat chorus)

Like the ticking of a clock two hearts beat as one
But I'll never understand the way it's done, oh

(Repeat chorus)

Love moves... in mysterious ways....

ending

final panel interview. weird. intimidating. panelists. directions. where to? no idea. march 14. big day. someday soon. i'll be there. or may not be. lord.

shet, hadlok na ko...

huhuuhuh...4 na lang mi nabilin..bahak..unsa man ni oi! kadaghan jud steps..lord, ayaw na tawon ko ipa-3rd application please huhuhu..
hadlok na baya ko..
praypraypray
(oi, ngano la pa man calls?) bahak

CB

kailan pa ma'y ikaw
bweheheheh

[Intro:]
Ang pag-ibig ko'y tanging ikaw lamang
Ang puso kong ito ay para lang sa 'yo
Magpakailan ma'y hindi magbabago
Magpahanggang wakas, mananatili ka sa puso

[Chorus:]
Laging ikaw ang nasa isip ko
Ang buhay ko ay para sa 'yo
Tanging ikaw lamang ang iibigin
Kahit sa oras ng pagtulog ko
Ikaw pa rin ang panaginip
At kahit na kailan pa ma'y ikaw pa rin

'Di ko iisipin na mayro'ng hanggan
Pagmamahalan nati'y ganyan
Kung uulitin man ang buhay ko
Tanging ikaw pa rin ang nanaising makapiling

[Chorus:]
Laging ikaw ang nasa isip ko
Ang buhay ko ay para sa 'yo
Tanging ikaw lamang ang iibigin
Kahit sa oras ng pagtulog ko
Ikaw pa rin ang panaginip
At kahit na kailan pa ma'y ikaw pa rin

[Bridge:]
Ikaw ang buhay ko at pangarap
Pag-ibig ko lahat ng sandali


[Chorus:]
Laging ikaw ang nasa isip ko
Ang buhay ko ay para sa 'yo
Tanging ikaw lamang ang iibigin
Kahit sa oras ng pagtulog ko

[Chorus:]
Laging ikaw ang nasa isip ko
Ang buhay ko ay para sa 'yo
Tanging ikaw lamang ang iibigin
Kahit sa oras ng pagtulog ko
Ikaw pa rin ang panaginip
At kahit na kailan pa ma'y ikaw pa r

chara's favorite song

...and now, mine too


They ask me how I knew
My true love was true
I of course replied
"Something here inside
Cannot be denied"
They said "Someday you'll find
All who love are blind"
When your heart's on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes
So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed
To think they could doubt my love
Yet today my love has flown away
I am without my love
Now laughing friends deride
Tears I cannot hide
So I smile and say
"When a lovely flame dies
Smoke gets in your eyes"

XpoSure

yey, i'm done na with the field exposure..kung swerte, makapadayon ko ug training.
ganahan ko sa job (heheh, igo ra man nuon ko nagsunod-sunod)
samok kayo ang mga doctors usahay kay gapanggamit na man ug medreps..pati ila flt tickets ipa-sponsor pah! pero well, ingana man jud..give and take man jud nah..
hehhe lipay kayo ko kay ang mga patients kay nestle products ang gagamiton; kagana jud ibalandra ako bag nga naa'y daku nga NESTLE bisan 2 days lang ko magpa-as if 'kapamilya' hehe
bitaw, nag-enjoy sad ko even if sakit ayo ako feet nilakaw, may na lang masaligan ako 'patos wala jud nagsakit ug ayo ako tiil..
nice kayo ako ka-work with nga medrep, tagan unta ko niya nice pud nga evaluation!
nalingaw ko bisan gamay ra ako role hehe
well, si lord na bahala sa tanan..kung feel niya mag-apply ko the third time around, hala sige uy, pabaga sa nawong..unsa ba'y mawala nako? (hoy, kaulaw pud oi!!)
eneweyz, di na ko balik PS..bahak to nga kompanya kagana ba jud pasakahan ug kaso sa Labor Committee..sayang, la ko ka-take up ug labor law..pangitaan jud nako ug bikil ang PS bah para makatuon ug lesson char
hay, ambot na lang...
kalibangon man sad ta ni hinulat sa results..

pasaway

dear team mates,
i know i'm the reason why our team had a straight 0% schedule adherence last week and this week. you must really think that i am such a pain in the ass but please, try to understand.
my brother didn't waste his blood and sweat sending me to college just for me to become a robot! and i didn't too! admit it, we are human answering machines! and this, definitely, is not me. i can't last for three more months in this company.
i thought answering phone calls as a job is not really that bad. it's the 'in' thing right now--but then, i realized, it's not my cup of tea.
mates, don't worry, i'm resigning anyway. and you'll have that 100% sched ad that you and our supervisor long for. well, as if its going to be possible--but at least i am not the culprit anymore.
some of you enjoy the job, some of you are just forcing yourselves. to tell you honestly, mates, we are still very young. let's not bury ourselves alive.
hey, i'm not trying to look for company (i have a lot, you know). i'm just concerned. i already witnessed some of you throwing your own things on the floor while on a call just to relieve yourselves of the stress and not be tempted to push the end button. i have witnessed a lot of you crying while on a call but managed to sound normal. i also have witnessed some of you really enjoying your work, loving every minute of our eight-hour job. and i do hope, if ever there'll be changes, it'll be for the better.
no job is easy. it wont be called a job if it's so much fun, right? but i believe that a job, no matter how difficult, skull-breaking, it is, if you love it, you'll enjoy it--and somehow, it ceases to be just a job, it becomes a dedication.
you have no idea what i went through, but i listened though when you, guys, told me that i shouldn't call it quits, yet. you told me everything is going to be fine. i did hope for that; it never came. i received good surveys from my callers and was able to hit our target call handling time during A-bay, and i must admit, i felt happy about it. but it didn't make any difference.
i tried to like, at least, the job. detaching myself from it. but i wasn't successful. this is not for me..
pero sige, mag-file sa ko ug leave. di sa ko mag-resign..kay you know, lisud na..huna-hunaon sa nako ug tarong ha kay lisud pud baya mangita ug trabaho..cge, mag-leave sa ko if maka-leave man kaha ko..sorry jud kung gahi kayo ako ulo. pero kung di pud bitaw gahi ako head, hagbay ra ko nagka-heart attack bah! di jud lami makig-story telling sa mga yatis nga kano. once in a blue moon ra ko makadawat ug call gikan sa pinoy..lami lugar ako layp? shet neber!

"what you put in coffee, even when there's milk around!"

heheh, karon pa nako isulti ang nahitabo..joker kayo..
ako, baga jud ko nawong, nag-apply na pud ko sa NESTLE!
ila na baya ko gi-jugsak sa una, apply na pud ko; and take note, the same position pa jud! oh, da bah! i'm so baga..pagsulod nako sa final interview ana dayon tong isa ka panelist "have we met?" HALA, kay naka-remember si manang! ing-ana jud lugar ko ka-remarkable katong nag-promote ko sa "MAGGI cup sarap!" kay kaila man siya nako..gana ba jud muingon nga "bakeri ko beh!" pero syempre, pa-cute lugar ko..ingon lang ko "yes, actually. this is my second time to apply for the same position. the last time was when i was still in CDO."

Panelist: Oh, i see.
ME: yes, ma'am. you see, i'm really interested. i work in a reputable call center industry right now, but i still am trying to be a part of the nestle team. (oh, di bah, chika kayo ko!)
Panelist#2: so, what time did your shift end?
ME: (syempre, pa-impress) oh, eight o'clock this morning. I haven't sleep yet, and Ms. Grace (HR sa cebu) knows that (sabay tingin kay ms. grace)\duh, ni-absent gani ko kay! bakakon kang daku, JS! bakakon ka!/
Ms. Grace (Panelist#3): yes. and she told me that's how interested she is.
all Pan's: (tango-tango)
ME: well, i have to endure the stress. right now, i know my friends are laughing at me for applying the second time around (bisan wala jud!!). and well, i'm even the laughing stock of my own family. my mom just called me up this morning teasing me for reapplying, she told me i must be so obsessed with nestle. i just told her, "ma, pinalaki niyo kaya ako sa NIDO." (bisan di jud ko gainum ug gatas! dah, i'm so haler!)
Panelists: hahahahha
ME: bwehehehe

pero ga-kurog jud ko. imagine, ikaduha na nako apply for the same position and company; please lang ayaw na ko ninyo pa-aplaya the third time around kay grabeh na kayo kabaga ako nawong if ever!

so, after 5 or 10 minutes man cguro to, gawas na ko. wala ko sultii kung kanus-a ko tawagan, nagtuo na lang ko nga 2 weeks pud kay ma-o man ang gisulti sa ako mga kauban. after 2 days man cguro to: krrnnngg!! giahak, di ko gusto mutubag! basin ignan na pud ko "sorry, try again!!!" waaaahhhhh hilak hilak na ko kay kulba na pero sige, hinga malalim.."hello, thank you for calling. This is..." ay, sayup. wala man diay ko opis (see, robot na jud ko!)
me: hello? (ets the ind of the werld)
ms.Grace: hello, jo-ann. when will you be free next week?
me: you want me to resign, maam?? (aw, di diay ma-o ako tubag) right: i'll be free on friday and saturday, ma'am.
ms.Grace: i see. can you make it this thursday, too? you'll be having your field exposure.
me: (FIELD EXPOSURE??? REJOICE!PANTENE!PALMOLIVE! meaning, work with? hahaha, promoted na ko..di na ko final interview queen, pang-clinician na pud ako beauty!!!)
oh, ok, ma'am. i'll just file for a leave on thursday. (uhhmm, pwede ra jud nako absenan..absenot ra ba kayo ko..ma-terminate na jud ko ani sa PS i loove you!)

so, ma-o na ni siya karon. mag-field ko karon thurs-fri..da bah, sosyal! pero gakurog pa gihapon intawon ko..ngano lisud man jud ang layp, oi???
pero happy na rin ako kay natagaan ko ug chance mahimong clinician bisan dili jud sure if madawat ko..hadlok ko oi, basin after 3 months mag-apply na pud ko utro (Lord, oi! palusuta na lang jud ko beh! sige na pleasssee...)

haayyy, ambot na lang. bahala na..di na jud ko mag-expect kay basin ignan na pud ko ug "apply ka na lang ulit sa branch namin sa Iloilo hhehe" HEHEHEHE! ambot!

and just to let you know, dili na maggi ako product, COFFEEMATE nah! sosyal na ko...ambot ambot ambot ambot! lord, deal ta..if madawat ko, madawat ko. if dili ko madawat, dili ko madawat. deal? sige, deal..

almost over..

they call it leap of faith, i call it honesty..pero teka, ba't ako nag-iingles? suka'ng-suka na ko sa ingles..sige,day, bisaya ang gamita..
ma-o na to, ila'ng tawag, ambak sa pagtuo, ako'ng tawag, uhmm, hehhe honesty..dah, la ko balo bisaya sa honesty..
katong ga-iskwela pa ko..stop it! go english!
when i was still a college student, i've always told myself that im not getting a job for punishment..i want a job that i will enjoy..a job that will bring out the best in me..i don't want a job that will bore my to death..
life was great in PS, then..our trainers did well in making me believe that i am in the best place with the coolest job in the world..so, i told myself, this must be it. my plan was simple then, work and study law at the same time.
when a-bay started, so did the problems..i was just so afraid to quit, i'm afraid of becoming a bum again..the future is a big unknown..ISA SIYA'ng MALAKING EWAN!
but now, i don't know..if i continue to pretend i don't know what's going to happen next. bahala na talaga c lord..
i really envy those who enjoy their job here in PS..they are so contented with what they have feeling ko tuloy masyado mataas tingin ko sarili ko para ayawan ang trabaho ko rito even if i know for sure that there a lot of people out there who would do everything just to get the job that i have. pero marami rin namang nag-resign na! it's not just going to be me..hindi naman sa nagmamalaki ako, pero can i blame myself kung ayaw ko talaga!!??? i literally drag myself to work not because i'm lazy but because i don't like the job.
sabi nga ni sir magtrayo, "stop pushing the issue, js."
i'm resigned! tapos na talaga..most of my batchmates are thinking na nahihirapan ako sa trabaho..haler! the job gets easier day by day kaya! ayoko lang talaga'ng maging robot..kaya kahit mag-offer ang PS ng P20,000 a month...hindi talaga ako mag-reresign!
joke, syempre magre-resign pa rin ako--after two years!

second chancer

hhehe, taking a chance again..
i dont know if this is going to work..
i haven't gotten any sleep yet..
i look like a vampy..duh, don't care at all..
well, if nothin happens..then nothing!
whatever..
i do have a fall back, why should i worry?
if i ain't gonna make it..then, the ____ with it.
i'm just taking one more chance...

waiting to exhale

dead serious! graveh, serious kayo ko sa ako career oi!
radiation effect lang siguro, pasensya nah..bwehehehe..i'm ruled by my zodiac gemini that's why i'm like this (blame it to astrology!)
my officemate told me last time that she no longer has natural tears..i was like, huh? natural tears? as in, you can cry no more? and she's like, yep..too much exposure to radiation..imagine, 8 hours of eye contact with a computer! as if naman i enjoy makipag-eye to eye sa bweset na computer na yon!
hay, balik trabaho na naman..gabi ang paningin ko ngayon. gabi kasi, maya-maya umaga na report na ko opis. here's my daily schedule (kung hindi ka ba naman ma-flip ay ewan ko na lang!)
8:00pm: magsi-sirko balentong na ko sa kama na napakalaki para sa kwarto'ng napakaliit..i'll look at my cp which also serves as my watch and sasabihin ko "maaga pa, tulog ka muna.." after 30 minutes debate time nah! hay, si right eh nagsasabing bumangon ka na, ganda! c left ay nagsasabing "mag-call in sick ka nah!" ang sarap sana'ng mag-call in sick..pero cyempre, c right ang pipiliin ko pagkatapos ng kalahating oras na pagmumuni-muni. AMBOT!
9:00pm: may i baba na ako sa lintek na double bed na kung bakit ba naman wala'ng hagdan! inat dito, inat there..suot ng gusot-gusot na damit na sing-gusot2x ng ulo ko..trying to fool myself na maganda pa rin naman ako kahit papano..
9:30pm: naog na ko sa balay..sa gawas kay naa'y fashion show sa mga bae ug laki na ewan kung ano'ng problema ng buhay ang dinadala at napagdiskitahang kulayan ng kung ano-ano ang buhok at..god, i hate that sight!..wear a pair of pants that could fit in three little pigs plus a wolf! sakyan mo pa!
10:00pm: hintay pa sa kalye ng jeep clutching my bag afraid na bigla na lang mawala sa paningin ko. pagkasakay ko ng jeep eh may i make a story na naman na sana bigla'ng magka-trapik (as if may traffic pa at that time!!) o kahit na ano'ng kadahilanan just for me to give a very valid reason why i have to call in late..worst scenario: sana mag-bug down lahat ng programs sa PS! ay, wala ako'ng kasing tuwa pag nangyari yon..
10:20pm: nothing gruesome happened. na sa pinakamalamig na parte na ako ng cebu (figuratively and literally)..ingay ng malalang inglesan ang maririnig mo pagkatapos mo'ng ipagkalat sa buong opffice na dumating ka na sa pamamagitan ng pagla-log in.
10:50pm: set up na my program..bweset, sangkaterba'ng ingles na naman ang ilalabas ko nito..10 minutes na lang at tatawag na ang kanuto'ng di marunong magbasa ng RULES and RESTRICTIONS at hahambalusin ka ng kung ano-ano'ng salita dahil 'i was charged 10 bucks!!' kung di ka ba naman ma-praning..
11:00pm: hay, hintay ka na ng 'toot' hinga ng malalim and give the standard spiel: "thank you for calling. my name is nadia. is there any reservation that i can help you with today?" simulan mo ng magdasal na sana ay dead air ang sumalubong sayo! ay, ang sarap makarinig ng dead air! eh, hindi dead air, alive and kicking ang pumasok! eto na naman po kami..lahat ba talaga ng kano ay di marunong magbasa at gumamit ng computer??? (iha, kung marunong sila ay wala ka'ng trabaho ngayon!!! hmmn, may point ka dyan..) maya-maya lang, kung swerte ka at hindi mo first call, may puting tatawag at papasadahan ka ng kung anitch-anitch lang naman dahil ba't ang kausap niya ngayon ay ubod ng bobo'ng pinoy at di maintindihan na ang gusto lang naman niya ay ang malibre sa bayad sa flight na pinili niya..at ako naman na saksakan nga ng bobo give ng standard spiel na 'i understand your situation..i know..yes..' hay, bin laden, naiintindihan na kita! kung pwede lang manaksak gamit ang boses, ang dami ko na sigurong puting napatay.
12:45am: salamat ng marami sa nag-imbento ng 15minute break. 'kakahinga ako ng maluwalhati...kung maswerte ako at wala'ng tawag sa schedule ng break ko...eh, kung 12:44 pa at biglang 'toot'..dead! sige, magpayaman ka, iha.
12:46am: balik sa trabaho..hintay ng tawag..
2:30am: never in my wildest dreams talaga na naisip ko'ng mag-lunch sa ganito'ng oras ng umaga..ewan! eto na siguro ang pinaka-weird na pangyayari sa maganda kong buhay: ang maniudto samtang ang katibuk-an sa pilipinas gahaguk!
3:31am: oi, balik ulit sa trabaho. isip na ko ng iba'ng mapapasukan haba'ng nagbabasa ng 'never give up messages' sa outlook (e-mail server namin)..hay, may tatanggap pa ba kaya sa abang tulad ko?? ba't ba kasi natuto pa kong mag-ingles?!!!
5:15am: wow, 15 minute break na ulit!
5:14am: wow, titigan na naman kami ni computer o! alam ko na ang magiging sakit ko pagkatapos na kontrata ko: eyes and ears breakdown, sasakyan pa siguro yan ng throat dsyfunction..di ko na nga makikita at maririnig ang future next BF ko, di ko pa siya masasabihan ng "BREAK NA TAYO!" wala na, handicapped na ako..
7:45am: unahan na kami ng mga ka-shift ko sa pagpindot ng button sa call master para hindi na kami pasukan ng call..hehe, galing ko talaga pag gulangan ang pag-uusapan.. i'm so proud of you, self!
8:01am: i made it!! haha, tapos na ang araw ko..oi, gabi na pala..uwi na ko..hirap talaga ng buhay sa tate!
8:30am:hapunan nah!! sarap ng hapunan ko, parang agahan..iba talaga ang buhay sa tate!! tsk tsk tsk
9:00am: atang na ug jip pauli sa bay..ang babango ng mga kasabay ko sa jip..bagong ligo lahat parang papunta pa lang sila sa office o di kaya ay papasok pa sa skul..habang ako ay haggard na haggard sila naman ay fresh na fresh..mapapaisip ako: saang planeta ba ko napunta??
9:30am:bording haws na ako..yes! pasok na sa banyo, ligo na, ilang catwalk pa sa makipot naming room..ZZZzzzzzz
8:00pm:gising nah!
8:01pm:matitiis ko pa kaya toh?
8:02pm:kaya mo yan, kid!
8:03pm:mag-japan na lang kaya ako?
8:04pm:ba't ang hirap mabuhay ng marangal?
8:05pm:may 30 minutes pa ko para itulog lahat ng agam2x at ka-chuvahan sa mundo..magandang umaga, po!

dead air

i got my one day leave approved! morose, unkempt, messy--i paraded all the little malls nearby--and yes, had my medical check up. something fishy is going on with my tummy and i already am feeling so harassed that a doctor's diagnosis is the least thing that i want! please, no scalpels!
i miss my gunding so much that everytime i see a baby i just wanna pack up and leave my 'oh-so-easy' job here. but i know it wont do anything good...my momma keeps on bugging me to resign but i know she just really wants me to feel that i still have a home and no matter what happens to my career, i'm still so welcome! but as chara would say it, "let's not go empty-HAMdead, gurl!" fine!
oh, how i love my mom! she's the only one who can keep me going and stop me at the same time...she's the only one who truly understands how i feel and how much acceptance i need. she knows how proud and insecure i can get.
i can still imagine life in college. i'm still guilty over the fact that i told chara, psychology society president then, a lot of philo drop outs are now under her club..but it was just a joke, i never meant anything. chara just laughed and left and told me "alright, hats off to your course!" i really was so sure that after college i'd land the perfect job. hey, i'm the club's president--academic-wise, i'm no.1! i smirk at the sight of an A- philosophy grade. philosophy is my turf and i can't be second best. believe me, that's how proud i was.
during class discussions, i'm the first to be called and the first to be asked. it really doesn't matter whether i give the best answer or not, when i talk, everybody listens. and if i don't hit the right answer, my teacher would do the qualification on my behalf and that just made me even more proud of myself.
i can still remember what i did when one of the most respected professors in the faculty came back after finishing his second doctor's degree. there was an affair then and the next semester will be my batch' last semester in college. i approached the infamous professor and asked him to handle one of our subjects next semester..seemingly pleased, he gave me his word. the subject he handled became the most difficult subject we have taken--and i finished it off with a flattering A! and again, i became prouder.
then college ended. and tears fell. and the proud girl was humbled. and finally, i realize the substance of my course--the pursuit of knowledge starts with humility. i was, all along, ignorant of this.
after getting sunburned and all, summer ended and i'm still jobless.
enter law school. enter insecurities. enter humility.
seven months of bumming around. seven months of feeling rejected. seven months of not knowing whether i'd ever get a job. when the semester ended, i don't know if i will be back to school for the second sem. it came out that my family was willing to help me achieve my dream, but the proud person that i am changed directions and---welcome, call center!
i joined the most famous industry as of the moment. it doesn't really matter if you're a dean's lister or if you were a president of this or that club. all you need are the following: ENGLISH LANGUAGE, COMPUTER SKILLS, DEAF EAR.
yes, deaf ear. of course, the ones who conducted the interview never told us that. i never knew of it too. i was just so happy to have my first job that i really i don't care. i was already warned by chara, she told me that with the kind of character that i have, i wont appreciate the job. i was warned by my classmates. i didn't listen..i had that deaf ear all along! i'm fit for the job--or, so i thought!
i'm here now for more than two months. that same infamous professor warned me before i left for cebu. he talked me out of it, actually. i was stubborn.
eight hours of waiting for calls; one hour of being screamed at by bitchy customers; one hour of being praised by generous and appreciative callers; one hour of waiting for airline reps to answer my call; one hour to eat my lunch which is scheduled at 2:30 in the morning; one hour of being persuaded to resign; one hour of regretting my decision; one hour of learning my lesson; one hour of waiting for my shift to end.
nikki, my roommate, woke me up one sunny afternoon (night time to us) when she suddenly murmured "may i have your itinerary number?' on her sleep! she must really love our job! she even takes it to bed with her..gross!
up until this moment, i remain undecided. it seems as though my reign in college never equipped me with the right demeanor to accept realities.
this proud girl has been tamed in the most unexpected way she knows.
but still, i am thankful. i have a life. something i do not really want, but i have a life. and my mother, her acceptance is forever. if only for her, then i know i will always belong.

human sponge

three weeks. a-bay is finally over. i don't know if i should be glad or worried.
mornings always make me realize that this job that i have is nothing but a child's play to me. i really don't think of it as a job..i even regard my officemates as 'classmates' and i don't know why.
maybe because the job is unusual--or maybe because i don't like this job.
it's no wonder why thousand (yes, thousands) of agents bade goodbye to our company after trying their luck for a month or two. good if they last for a year..but most of the time, a week is basis enough for them to resign.
what's with our job?
first, it exhausts every strength you have..it sucks you dry, they say. but maybe it's just because of the culture that we have; a culture so distinct that the moment a non-familiar thing arrives it blindfolds you. maybe it's just that we are so used of taking our jobs easily that even if we're eating or sleeping or what have you way past our schedule, we really don't care. but the job that i have, we have, spells schedule as d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e. a one hour break is a one hour break, go over than that and you're done.
second, it snatches away moments that were supposed to be meaningful had you spent it with your family or someone else. it produces coldness in you--until you forget that you still have a family--or a loved one. it makes you familiar with the feeling of being alone until you care no more.
third, you become a sponge. you hear to think and not to listen. your life is spent encoding and decoding as if it is supposed to be technical all the time. a full eight hours of your day is spent staring at such unmeaningful scene until you forget to think and be robotic in a sense. and for that, you get paid. a salary that will 'compensate' your dehumanization...
so why am i still here? to apply hermeneutics?
i really wish my time spent in this company wont steal my reason. yes, it polishes your linguistic capacity, but that's the end to it all. you get ill--and the illness is more than physical.
welcome to the world of machines, human sponge!

woohhhhoooo!!!

alrightie!!! oh, missed this thing! but i'm back..
after memorizing all the spiels in the world, i think i'm getting the hang of it--my job and everything about it.
well, i realized that its actually just about knowing your tools and knowing what you should do..
there are times that i stilllll ffeeeelllll sssoooo bbboooorreeedd and tired whenever i go to work but, by and by..well, i think i can finally handle this one.
who knows? the best things are yet to come..this could be my luck...
hhmmm, ronan's here..he really smells good!
((sigh)) if only we had different sexual preferences..but the thing is, we both like the male sex.
well, im going home this night!finally finally
but i definitely am coming back
i'm not giving up on this job. at least, not for now..
i just need some strength; something only my family can give!!
send you kisses from CDO, my CDO!

almost A-BAY

omigod!
a-bay this monday!
and they think i can handle those calls? haha..they thought it wrong!
pests!
i don't even know how to do that thing they call multi-tasking! fcuk
hah, whatever..
i'll get paid for doing such a horrible job!

AA Advantage

(((sigh)))
on a break right now..got my first two calls for AOA. i performed badly..i know i failed QA or even CSAT. darn,i hate it!
someone's singing at the back and he really thinks he has the voice to sing!
i don't know how this thing is gonna be come A-bay...they said i'll be able to adjust after two weeks but i think they're just pulling my leg.
this is the most difficult account in the company, and the pay does not even compensate all the hardwork and all the stress. i'd rather be assigned in the lowest ranking account and handle only one tool; and jeezz, with that, they even get a bigger pay! they earn more for doing so little a job!
fine, we were told during the job offer that we have options. i was told that i should be in the queen city of the south by november 2 and that i have already been assigned to this particular, skull-breaking, teeth-gritting, out of this world account and if i leave on a later date, i'd definitely be transferred to another account. innocence of mine, i agreed to stay with the account they assigned me to!
i should have known better.
right, right, i have no choice! oh, i do, actually. either i resign and be back to being a Certified Pest Again or bear with this one and earn for a living.
of course i'd go for the latter option. rats!
i can do this one. i know i can. difficulty is my bestfriend. challenge is my love interest. and i don't wanna marry FAILURE!

a big 'duh!!'

blame this not on my hormones, nor in my in-born-pickle-mindedness. women are not pickle minded..we are just so flexible! ((agree?? u should..or else..))
so, what do i have to say--err, write?
there are people who just don't get it! they make little things so big, a mountain out of a molehill fashion. they tend to think that only a few can make it and disregard sudden change as a proven fact. they disregard the little things and focus on the big ones when big ones are supposed to be composed of samll things. why do they have to do that? i just don't get it! i don't know why they do such thing and after which they complain about life being oh-so-complicated when in fact life is the simplest form of existence in this EARTH! duh!
why can't they see things thoroughly?? they ask a ot of questions and can only take a few answers. i'm finished answering questions while they are just starting to buggle their minds about things they think they should know when in fact they already do if only they keep their mouth shut and start THINKING, for christ' sake! i hate it.
they tend to make matters worst.
oh, well. i could be missing their point too. i know that. i do.
things are all in pure black and white, it's how we see them that give them their colors.
but life, life, is just so simple! nothing beats its simplicity. it is simple. it's how you live it that makes it complicated. it's how you see it that makes it complicated. the problem starts here..or, the realization begins.
(((((((((god, some people are just so OOOOOAAAAAA))))))))

turnaround

For the girls: Here are some tips on how to turn romantic guys down..



HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life – in your wildest dreams.